Does Your Relationship Feel Caught In An Unhealthy Pattern?
Do you feel bewildered or unsettled by changes in your relationship? Maybe you simply haven’t felt in sync, and you want to return to closeness and intimacy but aren’t sure how. 
Perhaps you feel afraid of the challenges brought by these changes. Instead of feeling confident in your relationship, you may be preoccupied with avoiding conflict, calming your emotions, and tending to misinterpretations on either side of your communication. Do you feel as though you are walking on eggshells, carefully choosing every word you say? Maybe you feel relief when you leave the house. You may even find reasons to work late. Perhaps you feel continuously anxious, wondering what your partner really wants or feeling hurt after yet another conflict. Maybe a particular event has damaged trust within the relationship, such as infidelity or a long-distance move. You might feel helpless and unsure of how to get back to where you want to be. You may even be afraid of what the future holds for your partnership. It’s possible you feel a desire for your partner to change, especially if you are looking back to a time and place where you felt the relationship was exactly the one you wanted. You might be yearning for a time when you felt deeply appreciated and loved. You may wish to return to comfort, certainty, and mutual understanding. You may be wondering, “How did we get here?”
You Are Not Alone
Every couple experiences hardship at some point in their relationship. It is natural to need help and support and struggle to learn new ways of connecting to one another. It takes hard work for partners to build a strong foundation, and daily pressures make it difficult to sustain even the liveliest connection. At some point in almost every relationship, one or both partners may be forced to deal with an inner struggle that affects the other. And, if one partner is having a hard time, the other is certainly not exempt from experiencing difficulties as well. For example, if one partner experiences a major trauma or loss, this can generate intense emotions and confusion within the relationship. Many couples also become stuck in unhelpful patterns. Over time, these can worsen until you both feel completely isolated. At this point, small rifts can trigger defensiveness or avoidance that can escalate harmless conflicts into larger rifts. When you’re struggling, it is completely normal and wise to seek help and support. The good news is resources are available. It’s possible for you and your partner to share a unified dream once again.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Heal, Connect And Grow
Couples therapy can be extremely effective in helping both partners communicate honestly, with love and affection. I have completed Level 2 training in the Gottman Method and utilize that training in my work with couples. The Gottman Method is based on 40 years of scientific research that has supported and developed the interventions I use. I am confident they can help you overcome and manage conflict, too. As your relationship therapist, I provide a safe, compassionate environment for discussing issues. It is important that you both feel you are in a balanced environment. Therefore, I will never judge, nor will I take sides. My aim is to help you learn new skills, new ways of approaching one another, and new tools for communicating and relating. In sessions, couples may share day-to-day problems as free flow of thought. As we discuss these immediate events, I can help facilitate a stronger sense of clarity and understanding between you both. My expertise allows me to restructure conversation in a way that’s clear and useful. With my guidance, you can come to view your issues through new lenses, and discover what you need to resolve tensions with care. As a team, we will develop new, helpful ways to approach and overcome discord. We will always use our time wisely, delving into what’s most important. I firmly believe that couples who are committed to change can make change happen. Sometimes, relationship issues are a lot less complicated than they seem! When both partners focus on their commitment to and investment in the relationship, it becomes easier to resolve conflict, big or small. Thinking from a perspective of love can change everything. The Gottman Method has helped countless couples experience significant improvements in their relationship. I have been working as a relationship therapist for over 15 years, and I have seen many partners succeed. In all my experience, I know that healing is possible. You and your partner can fall in love again. You can feel safe in your relationship. With the right help and support, it is possible to find your way back to each other.
You may have questions or concerns about couples counseling…
What if my partner doesn’t want to come to couples counseling? Many partners feel ashamed or are scared of what may result from therapy. It is important to note that conflicts are very normal, especially within the context of a long-term relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with seeking help. I conduct sessions with respect for your partnership and both of you as individuals. As a relationship therapist, I provide an objective, unbiased, third-party perspective. If you’re feeling stuck, I can help you understand why and what you need to move forward. It can be useful to agree on a “trial” number of sessions. That way, you can discover whether or not I’m a good fit for your needs. Couples therapy doesn’t need to be scary. Rather, it can be a concrete, grounding first step on the path to healing.
Is couples counseling worth the money? Relationship troubles can have an intense impact on other areas of your life. Long-term stress can increase your vulnerability to illness and therefore your number of doctor visits.[1] In addition, many couples spend thousands on a wedding without doing therapy and then divorce, which can be even more expensive. This process is about improving your relationship and nurturing your own well-being over time. You deserve support. You deserve to find out what to do from here.
What if it doesn’t work? The Gottman method is based on 40 years of empirical research.[2] You can trust that the methods and interventions I use have been proven to help repair and strengthen relationships. While I cannot guarantee that couples therapy will immediately fix your relationship, I can help both of you get clarity about your needs, and discover what it means to begin the journey of healing.
Enjoy A Connected Relationship
You and your partner don’t have to stay in this cycle forever. To schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation, please call (704) 654-5291 or email me at caroline@carolinebiber.com [1] https://www.apa.org/research/action/immune.aspx [2] https://www.gottman.com/about/research/effectiveness-of-gottman-method/