People come to couples therapy for different reasons, and many have different expectations as to what they’ll get out of it.
The biggest hope, though, is that a relationship can be restored and can become stronger than ever.
Different therapists and counselors follow specific methods for couples therapy. Some borrow from other specialties. Others develop their own methods for couples based on results they’ve seen in the past.
If you’re considering couples therapy, one of the most effective solutions, and the approach I use in my practice, is the Gottman method.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is named after Drs. John and Julie Gottman. After over 40 years of research and practice, the Gottman’s and the Gottman Institute developed this method to best help struggling couples. It focuses on the various elements required to make relationships last.
These elements, or “components,” come together to form The Sound Relationship House. There are nine components in this house that focus on the dynamics of relationships and how they work. These components consist of everything from breaking through the gridlock of your relationship to making mental maps of your partner’s world.
The underlying theme of the relationship is that fondness and admiration toward one another is a big key. It’s easier to focus on negative emotions in a relationship. Unfortunately, those emotions tear down a relationship much faster than positive emotions can build it up. So, when you and your partner learn skills you can use to build each other up rather than tear each other down, it’s more likely that your relationship will last.
What to Expect from Gottman Therapy
The Gottman method is for anyone considering couples therapy. Maybe you’re newlyweds. Maybe you’ve been married for 40 years.
There are certain things each person can expect when they participate in Gottman Couples Therapy. Some of these expectations include:
- A comprehensive assessment of your relationship and individual histories
- Focused goal setting to help identify where you are heading
- Learning about the components of The Sound Relationship House
- Rediscovering the fondness that initiated your relationship
- Interventions to help couples learn and practice skills for improving their relationship.
- Focus on building friendship in the relationship, conflict management skills and strengthening the meaning in your relationship
- Learning how to maintain your relationship outside of therapy
The Gottman method is meant to give you and your partner the skills and tools you need to strengthen your relationship forever. You’ll learn how to develop different “checks,” so if you’re going through a hard time (like every couple does), you can use the skills you learned to make it through stronger than ever.
Is Couples Therapy Right for Me?
Couples counseling is beneficial for many reasons. If nothing else, it provides a neutral ground so you can work with your partner to strengthen your relationship. It’s a safe place to work out any issues you might be going through.
On top of offering a neutral perspective, couples therapy is great for couples struggling with communication. It can help you to see your partner’s perspective on things.
Finally, it offers tools and skills you can use even after the therapy sessions are over. The idea isn’t to have to go to counseling forever. But, the right counseling will prepare you for just about anything your relationship might have to go through.
When you’re considering couples therapy, keep the Gottman method in mind. It’s backed by science, research, and thousands of successful tests with different types of couples. It continues to be popular with counselors and therapists all over for one very good reason: It works!
If you’re thinking about couples counseling, feel free to contact me. We can implement the elements in the Gottman method to strengthen your relationship. Every couple is different. But, the components of this method work for just about everyone. Together, we can work through each element, and get your relationship back on track for the future.
